Subject: QVC vs Windows
From: [email-masked] (dr. carasso)
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 94 19:30:05 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

I was channel surfing the other night when I came across this guy on
QVC giving a demo of Windows on a ThinkPad 500.  After a few choice
comments from the slick salesman, I started taking notes.  (I didn't
want to divert my attention long enough to find a tape...)

  He started out by explaining that icons were like glimpses of what
was behind them, and proceeded to show the Accessories "menu."  He
talked about how wonderful this deal was since the machine came with
so much preloaded software, and then gave a brief description of each
icon in Accessories.
   First there was "A-Write" the "word processing package" (I think he
called it "A-Write" because the icon for Write has a fountain pen
drawing an A...)
   Then there was Paintbrush, which allows you to "do your 3D work" he
said.  "For example, if you were designing a house, you could keep all
the floor plans and layouts in here."
   Next was Terminal, "which lets you uhhh, uhhhh, add another uhh,
terminal to your computer."
   He fumbled a little more and skipped Notepad, presumably because he
couldn't make up anything good to say just after describing "A-Write."
   Next: "It has this Recorder, which helps you be a little like
Steven Spielberg...it interfaces directly with your VHS cassetes."
   While pointing at the next icon he proudly announced that the
machine even came with a built-in Clock.
   There was Calculator, which of course "manages your finances."
   He mentioned some of the "executive" features, like Calendar and
Cardfile.
   He pretty much gave up at Object Packager, but saved the moment by
kicking into a demo of the "word processing package" because "If
you're like me, that's where your family will spend most of it's
time."
   In his "A-Write" demo, he drooled about how versatile the software
was. (somehow the common font picker dialog just didn't convince me to
pick up the phone and order a ThinkPad) As proof of how useful the
"word processing package" was, he "printed in" a sentence: "Dean shows
hot computers on qvc."  Then "Oh jeez!" he exclaimed, "It's been a
long day folks, I mispelled my own first name!" (Dan) He proceeded to
hit the backspace key 31 TIMES, leaving only the 'D'.  He started
retyping the rest of the sentence, but gave up midway and moved on.
"Let me tell you something: This thing will really change your life!"
   He started babbling about "executive" features again and fired up
the cardfile "database system."  It kinda took the punch out when the
camera zoomed back in and you saw that there were three dessert
recipes on the screen.

   The stupidity went on, but mostly on other bundled things like
"C-Mail" (I think he meant Lotus Cc:Mail) and some IBM antivirus
utilities.

   An interesting note: In one screen shot it was evident that IBM had
replaced the MS-DOS icon with a PC-DOS icon that looks almost
identical to the OS/2 logo.  Later on, while showing off the manuals,
he held up the clearly labelled "IBM PC-DOS" book and said "...you get
an MS-DOS manual..."

...source unknown.