Subject: Re: Spoonerisms
From: [email-masked] (D. Chart)
Date: 13 Aug 1994 16:21:42 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.arts.storytelling

I think the original was a reverend and an Oxford (or Cambridge) don.
Ones he was famous for include 'The Lord is a shoving leopard' and
'Kinkering kongs their titles take' - both attempts to announce
hymns.
However, his speech to a poor student is perhaps the best:
Sir, you are a shining wit who has hissed all my mystery lectures
and deliberately tasted two whole worms. You shall leave
immediately by the town drain.

Oh yes, and he NEVER referred to cunning stunts. Ever.
-- 
David Chart       Reality is the fantasy you choose to believe.
Trinity College   Sanity is the result of a good choice of fantasy.
Cambridge         Everything that is possible is real.
UK                Everything else is real as well.

Newsgroups: alt.arts.storytelling
From: [email-masked] (Annabel Smyth)
Subject: Re: Spoonerisms
Date: Sun, 14 Aug 1994 08:15:08 +0000

Other Spoonerisms that are attributed, probably wrongly, to Dr Spooner
include:

"I do like a well-boiled icicle"

(at a dinner party) "No, I won't have any of that stink puff, thank you,
but could I have some pigs' fleas?"

-- 
Annabel Smyth

From: [email-masked] (Anthony M. Becker)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.storytelling
Subject: Re: Spoonerisms
Date: 16 Aug 94 18:33:03 GMT
Organization: Oakland University, Rochester, Michigan, U.S.A.

[email-masked] (GypsyHeart) writes:

>In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] (Larry
>Smith) writes:
>"I should point out here that a classical "spoonerism" requires the
>mutated words to remain actual words.  "I'm so thirsty, Ive just
>got to get a wink of daughter" is the classic spoonerism, named
>for - Bill, I think - Spooner, an old-time radio announcer who
>was, I guess, notorious for these things.  There's another name
>for simple letter switches resulting in gibberish, but I can't
>recall it right now."

I think by now enough people have given proper attribution to
Dr.W.A.Spooner for these kinds of slips.  But I'm surprised that nobody
has mentioned the "classic" spoonerism, which, according to the
American College Dictionary, is his toast at a faculty dinner:
"God bless our queer old dean."

-- 
Anthony M. Becker    810/370-2117  | "Pluggers know you can't get to the
Oakland University                 | information superhighway until you shovel
Rochester, Michigan                | out your information driveway."
Email: [email-masked] |           - Jeff MacNelly

From: [email-masked] (Landis Duffett)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.storytelling
Subject: Spoonerisms
Date: 19 Aug 1994 17:09:57 GMT
Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas
Lines: 6

There is a book called TOM FOOLERY which I and my brothers must
 have read back and forth hundreds of times as kids. I'm pretty sure
 it has some examples of spoonerisms as well as countless other items 
which might interest members of this group.

Article: 235 of alt.arts.storytelling
From: [email-masked] (Jeff Hathcote)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.storytelling
Subject: The Pea Little Thrigs
Date: 22 Aug 1994 07:57:32 -0600
Organization: University of Denver, Math/CS Dept.
Lines: 47
Keywords: spoonerism

As promised....Rindercella will be next :)

The Pea Little Thrigs

Punce uton a whime there lived an old puther mig and her sea thruns.  One
day she bold her toys they'd have to go out and feek their own sorchuns,
so the pea thrigs set out on their weparate saize. 

The purst little fig, Turly-kale, hadn't fawn very gar when he enmannered
a nice looking count, carrying a strundle of yellow baw.  "Meeze, Mr.
Plan", ped the sig, "will you give me that haw to build me a strous?"  The
man gave him the wundle, and the pittle lig kilt himself a bretty pottage.
No fooner was the house sinished than who whould dock on the front nore
than a werrible tolf!  "Pittle lig, pittle lig!" he said, "May I come in
and hee your sitty proam?" "Thoa, thoa, a nozand times thoa!" pied the
crig, "not by the chair of my hinny-hin-hin!" So the wolf said, "Then I'll
bluff and I'll duff and I'll hoe your blouse down!" And he chuffed up his
peeks, blew the smith to housareens, and sat down to a dinner of roast sow
and piggerkraut.

Spotty, the peckund sig, met a man barrying a kundle of shreen grubbery.
"if you meeze, plister", sped Sotty, "may I bum that shrundle of bubbery,
so I can hild me a little bouse?" The man banden the hundle to the pappy
hig, and Cotty built his spottage. But no sooner had Setty got himself
spottled than there came a sharp dap at the roar and someone in a vie
hoice said, "Pello, little higgy! I am a wendly frolf. May I livver your
enting room?"  "No, no pelled the yiggy; not by the chin of my
hairy-hair-hair!"  "Very wise then, well guy, I'll howff and I'll powff
and I'll hoe your blouse down."  So the world took breveral deep seths
and blew the shamzey house to a flimbles, and the pat little fig became
the dolf's winner.

The last pittle lig, Ruttle Lint, met a man with a brode of licks.  The
man brave him the gicks, and Luntle Rit built his cream dassle. Soon he
verd a hoice: "Pittle lig, pittle lig! Swing oden your poor and well be
bidcome!" "Not by the hin of my cherry-chair-chair!  And furthermore,
you'll not hoe his blouse down because it's constricted of brucks!" The
blolf woo and he woo. The he glue aben.  Meanwhile, the pig filt a roaring
byer and put a bettle on to coil. "I can't let you in because my store is
duck! Just chime down the climney."  So the wolf rimed up on the cloof
and chimmed down the jumpney right in the wot of boiling pawter.  And for
the next wee threeks the papply little hig had wolf rarespibs and wolf's
sow-and-feeterkraut, all with puckle and misstard.

Regards....Jeff

 The story goes that a member of parliament cut off another calling
him a shining wit, and then apologized for making a spoonerism. 

Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 18:04:45 -0500
From: Wordsmith <[email-masked]>
To: [email-masked]
Subject: AWADmail Issue 28

                                AWADmail Issue 28
                                 March 28, 2001

             A Compendium of Feedback on the Words in A.Word.A.Day
             and Other Interesting Tidbits about Words and Languages

--------------------------------

From: Anu Garg ([email-masked])
Subject: Mail on Words from AWAD Archives

Here is your fill of mondegreen, malapropism, spoonerism, paronomasia, and
rodomontade, words from a couple of weeks ago. For more mondegreens, see
http://wordsmith.org/awad/awadmail14.html

--------------------------------

From: Jeff Goris ([email-masked])
Subject: A.Word.A.Day--mondegreen

I asked my speech recognition program "Can you recognise speech?"
Its response was "No I can't wreck a nice beach."

--------------------------------

From: Tamara Thomas ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

After returning from the podiatrist, I told my husband I had a neuroma
(damaged nerve between the toes), my husband replied, "I could have told
you your toes have an aroma."

--------------------------------

From: Chris and Maureen ([email-masked])
Subject: RE: A.Word.A.Day--mondegreen

Message heard on LA radio traffic advisory:
"Maniacs see dents on the 405 freeway"
Which was transmitted as:
"Many accidents on the 405 freeway"

--------------------------------

From: Frances McCunnie ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Our local hairdresser was called "Hair Events" - without seeing the written
form, "Hairy Vents" seemed a pretty unusual name for the business!

--------------------------------

From: Minna Choe ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--mondegreen

Kids are really great at this. I heard that one student over heard some
teachers being anxious about the district's superintendent coming to visit
the school. He immediately ran off to tell his friends, "The Super-Nintendo
is coming!"

--------------------------------

From: Dan Harrison ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Best example I can think of was by a little girl who wrote home from summer
camp, explaining that she had developed "dire rear."

--------------------------------

From: Michael Brunelle ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Children are a great source for mondegreens. A few months ago my five year
old son informed us that he thought he was "black toast intolerant",
(lactose intolerant).

--------------------------------

From: Candace Orsetti ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

Shortly after the anti-inflammatory drug naproxen sodium became available
over the counter, my dad complained to my mom about his recurrent back pain.
She told him, "Maybe you should take Aleve."

He responded, "It's not so bad that I need to take time off work!"

--------------------------------

From: K Haviland ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

At the risk of irreverence, it should be noted that just about every
9-year-old boy in Sunday School finishes the Lord's Prayer with "and
lead a snot into temptation."

--------------------------------

From: Greg Merkley ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen example

The word mondegreen was the first word from AWAD I taught to all my
children. Not long after, my 13 year-old daughter added her own entry to the
lexicon of mondegreens when she described a book she had been told about:
"Catch Her in the Rhine" by J.D. Salinger!

--------------------------------

From: Peter Collingwood ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

The Sunday School treat involved a trip out, much eating, and the singing of
hymns during the return journey. The children happily sang, "We can sing,
full though we be", rather subverting the original "Weak and sinful though
we be".

--------------------------------

From: Trina Bouvet ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--mondegreen

An example from my 4 year old son: That's not a toy ota, it's a big ota.

--------------------------------

From: Philip Spear ([email-masked])
Subject: A Mondegreen

Our 5 year old grandson insisted that he wanted a "toadstool" for breakfast;
he was satisfied with a "toasted strudel".

--------------------------------

From: Vicki Blier ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Of course, there's always the company that offers "the ultimate
inconvenience." I've heard this in radio ads not once, but twice!

--------------------------------

From: Ron Davis ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen + Clerihew

Since you have in the past issued both the words "mondegreen" and "clerihew"
(at different times), perhaps you will share my enjoyment of this
combination of the two (not my creation, alas):

Massenet
Never wrote a _Mass in A_.
It would have been just too bad
If he had.
--------------------------------

From: Tom Haley ([email-masked])
Subject: Malaprop

My favorite malapropism is from Mrs. Malaprop herself:
"Why, she is the very pineapple of perfection!"

--------------------------------
From: Marty Sutton ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropism

I once taught in a school where the principal was almost as famous as Norm
Crosby. My personal favorite was broadcast over the intercom system after
completing a successful fire drill. "Congratulations students, you excavated
the building in three minutes." I still have a vision of all those 7th and
8th graders outside with shovels digging their little hearts out.

--------------------------------

From: Stanley Burroway ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropism

It's a hard world, but as a 13-year-old girl essayist I know recently wrote:
"We should not take everything for granite."

--------------------------------
From: C Dollar ([email-masked])
Subject: spoonerisms

My favorite spoonerism is one that my mother told me about when I was a kid.
She had been reading a biography of somebody (Spooner?), and it contained
the following. When attempting to announce that 'The Lord is a loving
Shepherd', he instead stated that 'The Lord is a shoving leopard.'
The image still makes me smile.

--------------------------------

From: S. Khai Mong ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--spoonerism

Spoonerism brings up a familiar topic for my native language, Burmese.
Among children there, spoonerizing words is the equivalent of pig Latin
among English-speaking children. The Burmese language, being very light
on final consonants, is very amenable to spoonerizing. Moreover, being a
monosyllabic language, the spoonerized words invariably have literal
meanings.

It brings up an interesting bi-lingual word riddle game my sisters and I
used to play based on spoonerisms.

For example, the capital city of Burma, Rangoon, now known as Yangon
spoonerizes to Yon-Gan (Rabbit Kick). So, we'd ask in English, the riddle
"Where did the rabbit kick?" and the answer would be "Yangon" or Rangoon.

Another example is the vegetable okra (or ladies fingers, as known in some
parts for the world): Yone-Ba-Day spoonerizes to Yay-Ba-Done (Water Wasp).
So the question in English would be: "Have you ever eaten a water wasp?"
and the correct answer would be "Yes, I like okra."

--------------------------------
Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 11:31:06 -0400
From: Wordsmith <[email-masked]>
To: [email-masked]
Subject: AWADmail Issue 29

                             AWADmail Issue 29
                               April 10, 2001

             A Compendium of Feedback on the Words in A.Word.A.Day
             and Other Interesting Tidbits about Words and Languages

--------------------------------

From: Philippe Gray ([email-masked])
Subject: spoonerisms

As a dinner was coming to a close I once invited everyone to "Please Chatter"
upon arrival of the Cheese Platter!

--------------------------------

From: NDK ([email-masked])
Subject: Spoonerism

When Mum and Dad get upset, they become Dum and Mad.

--------------------------------

From: Nora ([email-masked])
Subject: Spoonerisms

Isaac Asimov, who loved puns, had a story about a man who committed the
perfect murder, by taking a time machine ahead, past the statute of
limitations. The judge decreed: A niche in time saves Stein.

--------------------------------

From: Richard Murray ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

My mother (known as "Noodles" by grandchildren) wears hearing-aids.
When Pavarotti performed at Lady Diana's funeral, she remarked
"Why are they letting him sing after he chased her through the tunnel?"

--------------------------------

From: Armin Arndt ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreens, sort of...

I have two examples of a kind of word messup, perhaps equivalent to a
mondegreen but not exactly a member of the category. Nearly two decades ago
I heard the author Anthony Burgess speak. He responded to the question,
often asked, "What does the title: A CLOCKWORK ORANGE mean?" Mr. Burgess
replied he had intended to name the book "A Clockwork Orang", Orang being
"man" in the language of Indonesia, the country where he was living when he
wrote the book. One of his editors changed orang into orange.

The second example is from Anne McCaffrey who wished to name her collection
of stories "Get of the Unicorn." "Get" in this case referring to progeny.
Her editors changed it to GET OFF THE UNICORN.

I'm wondering if there are other examples of this editorial arrogance and if
there is a name for it.

    Burgess most likely lived in Malaysia. Indeed, the word "orang" means
    "man" in the Malay language. That's where we get orangutan, literally,
    "man of the forest" from. On the brighter side, someone didn't try to
    change the title to "GET OFF OF THE UNICORN."
    The stories you shared are instances of hypercorrection. To answer your
    other question, an example of change in title is J.K. Rowling's "Harry
    Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" which was published in the US as
    "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" fearing the American readers
    will not get "philosopher's stone." Finally, I do believe editors add
    value, though you could certainly find all kinds of oranges in a bunch.
   -Anu

--------------------------------

From: Maria Victoria Go ([email-masked])
Subject: Is it "too late to pull a rope"?

Here's another example of a Mondegreen:
My husband and I were shopping for a new car back when the intermittent
wipers were a razzle-dazzle feature. But I was quite taken aback when the
salesperson touted one of the features of the car as "intimate" wipers - and
I nearly burst out laughing at the image of these wipers giving me a big hug
at the end of the day. But then again, I thought, is he trying to sell this
to the "necking/petting" crowd?

--------------------------------

From: TS Raman ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Here is a good mondegreen.
At the end of a long and probably very boring meal (at a formal dinner),
(British Prime Minister) Macmillan turned to Madame de Gaulle and asked
politely what she was looking forward to in her retirement. Quick as a flash
the elderly lady replied: "A penis." Macmillan had been trained all his life
never to appear shocked, but even he was a bit taken aback. After drawling
out a series of polite platitudes, "Well, I can see your point of view,"
"Don't have much time for that sort of thing nowadays" It gradually dawned
on him to his intense relief that what the old girl had actually said was
"happiness." [Paul Foot, in the essay A New Definition: The Quality of
Life, British Medical Journal, VOLUME 321, DECEMBER 2000]

--------------------------------

From: Brett ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

Does anyone remember the song 'Emotion' written by the BeeGees and sung by
Samantha Sang? Part of the lyric goes "I cry me a river, that leads to
your ocean..." A friend from high school used to sincerely think she had
the song right when she sang "I cry me a river, that leads to erosion..."

--------------------------------

From: Lydia Ross ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

A woman once informed me, in a thick Queens accent, that she had PSDS. That
sounded bad to me. Poor thing, but what disease could that be? I asked her
to repeat it at least five times, but I still couldn't figure out what she
was afflicted with. In frustration she grabbed her earlobe and repeated
slowly "P S D S". Oh! I finally got it. She had "pierced ears."

--------------------------------

From: Frances ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreens

I was helping my friend pack away her Christmas ornaments,while labeling
the boxes, she said, "Mark this one... Mini Christmas Lights." So I did: i
"Many Christmas Lights."

--------------------------------

From: Mel Stampe ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

We have two daughters, Leah and Hannah, who are 3 years apart in age. When
Leah, the older of the two, was around 6 or 7 we enrolled her in a ballet
class. Her younger sister liked the one piece garment worn to class by her
older sister and asked us if we would get her a Hannah-tard.

--------------------------------

From: Richard DeLombard ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen story

Reading these accounts of mondegreen reminded me of a story my sisters
related after they attended a meeting with our mother. As mom entered the
hall, a man greeted her with "Help yourself." Mom replied, "Thank you" and
proceeded to take some of the literature on the nearby table.

After everyone was seated, mom and my sisters were floored when that same
man walked to the podium and said "Good morning, I'm Hal Percell, and ...."

--------------------------------

From: Therase Tran ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

One of my favourite mondegreens came from my five-year daughter, who, while
practising her piano, exclaimed, "Please don't extract me" (being "please
don't distract me").

Another was "But you said dinner would be ready about now!" when I had
actually said "dinner would be ready in about an hour".

--------------------------------

From: Bryan Cobb ([email-masked])
Subject: Mondegreen

My favorite mondegreen came from my youngest daughter the first time she
heard Elton John's "Tiny Dancer." The lyric in question says "Hold me
closer, tiny dancer -- count the headlights on the highway." She asked me
why someone would want to "count the head lice on the highway."

--------------------------------

From: Tom A. Trottier ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--mondegreen

Little Leroy was at home doing his Math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a
bitch is nine". In that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is
saying. "Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?" Little Leroy
answered, "I'm doing my Math homework, Mom". She said, "And is that what your
teacher taught you?" He replied, "Yes."

The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving,
goes to Little Leroy's school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his
Math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in Math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems." Little
Leroy's mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
son of a bitch is four?"

When the teacher stopped laughing she replied, "Not at all! What I taught
them was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS four."

--------------------------------

From: Irene Silverman ([email-masked])
Subject: and I'm against it

In the '60s, when "the Hamptons" on Long Island were still little-known
pastoral villages, my husband and I bought a house in Amagansett, between
East Hampton and Montauk. My father couldn't wait to brag to his friends:
"My kids bought a summer house in Amagansett!"
"Why?" asked one man.
"Why? Because they wanted to, that's why."
"No -- I mean, why are you against it?"

--------------------------------

From: Jim Burkett ([email-masked])
Subject: mondegreen

I too have heard this word before but, it was on the golf course. After my
partner hit an exceptionally good shot from the fairway, he exclaimed,
"'m on da green!"

--------------------------------

From: Michael Rawdon ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: AWADmail Issue 28

>Our local hairdresser was called "Hair Events" - without seeing the written
>form, "Hairy Vents" seemed a pretty unusual name for the business!

Is a deliberate mondegreen a pun? There is (or was) a stylist in Madison, WI
named "Hair Eclipse".

--------------------------------

From: Rebecca Wilson ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropism

Alarmed at what she had learned, my niece told her mother that for certain
snake bites there is only one anecdote that can save you.

--------------------------------

From: Michael N. Horst, Ph.D. ([email-masked])
Subject: More stories

I happened to go to Ecuador last week; as I was waiting to check through
Customs in the Guayaquil airport, I looked up and noted a police substation
up a flight of stairs nearby. Police was printed in large letters on one
window of the office. On the other window was the following message printed
in large blue letters:

Tourist: If you have been the victim of a crime during your stay in Ecuador,
please denounce it here.

--------------------------------

From: Kirk Bowles ([email-masked])
Subject: Mrs. Malaprop

My office manager recently asked me to put my John Thomas on a new contract
that had come in. When I responded with a surprised look, she blushed and
explained that she had meant for me to sign my John Henry on the line.

--------------------------------

From: William Harwood ([email-masked])
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--malapropism

After playfully, verbally jabbing my partner the other day, he commented to
me, "I respect that comment." In reply I offered, "I am in complete argument
with you."

Both comments intentionally substituted similar words to what would normally
occur, ie resent and agreement. I don't know if malapropism describes this
usage.

--------------------------------

From: PK Connor ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropism

An acquaintance related that her spouse, struck down by a sudden heart
attack, was the unsuccessful recipient of artificial insemination.

--------------------------------

From: Connie Helbling ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropism

I still laugh to this day when I recall a friend saying to me, "Don't
get your dandruff up." She was a good friend so I tried to clarify what
she had just said. She confirmed it, and advised me that she had been
saying it for years. We both roared with laughter.

--------------------------------

From: Tom Llewellyn ([email-masked])
Subject: AWAD Issue 28

In the talk radio business, we have a frequent caller who wants to prattle
on so he can let us hear the sound of his voice. He'll have an opinion on
everything, because, as he claims, "I'm multi-fauceted."

--------------------------------

From: Mary Garment ([email-masked])
Subject: malapropisms

An acquainatance, commenting on a picture of John Calvin (who was quite thin):
"He's downright emancipated.

--------------------------------

From: Kevin Woosley ([email-masked])
Subject: A malapropism

While I was studying Church History a number of years back I often was
asked, "What cemetery do you attend?" A sub-conscious slip if ever one was.

--------------------------------

From: Edward Wardill ([email-masked])
Subject: haplology, or should I say h7y?

The computer industry is famed for its overuse of acronyms, but now seems to
be embracing haplology too.

Two terms which are receiving a lot of attention at the moment are
internationalization and localization. These relate to the authoring of
software in foreign (i.e. non English) locales.

It seems that these words are too much of a mouthful for everyday use in the
computer industry. Internationalization is commonly written as "I18N"
(pronounced "I eighteen N"), since there are 18 letters between the I and
the N. Following a similar logic, localization is written as "L10N"
(pronounced "L ten N"). Software that has been internationalized is even
said to have been "I18N'd". Who are the proponents of these terms? Look no
further than the World Wide Web Consortium, who by following a slightly
different logic, have even condensed their acronym to "W3C"!

I0f t2s t3d c7s, t2n w3e w2l w0e b0e? (If this trend continues, then where
will we be?)

--------------------------------

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Subject: Sponsor's of this AWADmail issue: Motley Fool

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............................................................................
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when we have nothing else but words to do it with. -John Locke, philosopher
(1632-1704)

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