Subject: Humor
From: [email-masked] (agu)
To: [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 1995 09:34:51 -0700

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES
          
DOS Air:  Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, 
push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hits 
the ground.  They grab the plane again, push it back into the air, 
hop on, jump off...
          
Mac Airways:  The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look 
the same, talk the same, and act the same.  When you ask them questions 
about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need 
to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
          
Windows Airlines:  The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants 
courteous, the pilots capable.  The fleet of Lear jets the carrier 
operates is immense.  Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushes 
above the clouds and, at 20,000 feet, explodes without warning.
          
OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty - only a few prospective 
passengers mill about.  The announcer says that a flight has just 
departed, although no planes appear to be on the runway.  Airline 
personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, 
pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside.  They tell
each passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how 
much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a 
little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.  
Maybe until mid-1995.  Maybe longer.
          
Fly Windows NT:  Passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac 
and place them in the outline of a plane.  They sit down, flap their 
arms, and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
          
UNIX Express:  Passengers bring a piece of the airplane and a box of 
tools with them to the airport.  They gather on the tarmac, arguing 
about what kind of plane they want to build.  The passengers split 
into groups and build several different aircraft but give them all 
the same name.  Only some passengers reach their destinations, but ALL 
of them believe they arrived.