Subject: Clan of the Cable Bearer
From: [email-masked] (agu)
To: [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked],
Date: Wed, 20 Mar 1996 11:25:06 -0800

This was an actual request for help on a
newsgroup.
 
----------------------------------------------
 
Subject: Simple Caveman needum printer help
 
Me caveman, simple folk.  Want hook-up two
printer, two computer.  OOG, let me scratch on
cave wall:

 _________                    _________  
 | P5-90 |LPT1                | P5-60 |  
 | Win95 |\                   | Win3.1|  
 |       | \                  |       |  
 ---------  \                 ----|----
   ? |       \                    | LPT1 to 1284D
     |        \                   |
 __?_|____     \   to 1284C   ____|____
 | Djet  |      \_____________| Ljet  |
 | 855c  |                    | 5MP   |
 ---------                    ---------

Gottum 1284C, 1284D cables to Ljet HP 5MP many
moons now, work like bear-bone charm.  Two
computers talk to HP Ljet, share-share-alike.  HP
Ljet 5MP like EPP, like talk to P5-90, P5-60, say
"me here! me busy! me needum paper!"
 
Then Djet 855c join home last moon, much powerful
magic.  Needum make P5-90 talkum to Djet too.
Don't like way me change printers now ... gottum
shut down P5-90, change cables, reboot.  Win95
stink like big pile mammoth dung, many flies, much
bad wind.
 
Me think me just add new parallel port, LPT2, on
little card.  But evil spirits lurk; not many
IRQs, caveman afraid change soundcard IRQ from 5,
for evil Win95 never saw soundcard, will kill or
hurt soundcard if find out.  Need LPT2 me can
assign any IRQ.  Me see FarPoint makum extra
Parallel port card, but FarPoint say no good with
evil, evil Win95.  Me want EPP port, most card not
EPP, or have all manner expensive junk me no want.
 
Or maybe can use fast serial with HP 855c?  Gottum
extra serial port on 855c, made for funny fruit
computer (Appletalk?  Me never hear apple talk in
all days as caveman, travel many many lands).
Gottum extra unused 16550 serial on P5-90.
 
Win95 bad, bad medicine.  Stink like ground sloth
with mange.  MS try make like fruit computer,
computer think it know what caveman want, really
just do random thing it want.
 
--  Harlan W. Stockman    [email-masked]
[email-masked]
 
Me no really Caveman, me stodgy 41-year-old
scientist.  Me pretend be OOG so people actually
read story.