Subject: Re: PBS humor
From: [email-masked] (Nicole M Bouchez)
To: [email-masked]
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 1995 18:34:12 -0800

Hi there, I thought you might find this a bit entertaining (and scary?)

-nicole

>A TYPICAL DAILY PBS SCHEDULE IF THE PUBLIC BROADCASTING LEADERS CAVE
>IN TO REPUBLICAN PRESSURE
>
>8:00 am - Morning Stretch - Arnold Schwartzenegger does squats while
>reciting passages of "Atlas Shrugged."
>
>9:00 am - Mr. Rogers' Segregated Neighborhood - King Friday sings
>"Elitism is Neat." The House Un-American Activities investigation of
>Mr. McFeeley continues. Mr. Rogers explains why certain kids can't
>be his neighbor.
>
>10:00 am - Sesame Street - Jerry Falwell teaches Big Bird to be more
>judgemental.  Oscar the Grouch plays substitute for Rush Limbaugh.
>Bert and Ernie are kicked out of the military.  Jesse Helms bleaches
>all the Muppets white.
>
>11:00 am - Square One - A MathNet episode "Ernest Does
>Trickle-Down."  Jim Varney explains how cutting taxes for the rich
>and spending more on defense will balance the budget.
>
>12:00 pm - Washington Week in Review - Special guest Senator Bob
>Dole, explaining why the current pension crisis, budget deficit,
>bank closings, farm foreclosures, S&L bailouts, inflation,
>recession, job loss, and trade deficit can all be blamed on someone
>else.
>
>1:00 pm - Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? - Guest detective
>Pat Buchanan helps kids buid a wall around the U.S.
>
>2:00 pm - William F. Buckley's Firing Line - Guests George Will,
>Rush Limbaugh, John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona
>Charen, G. Gordon Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson,
>Joseph Sobran, Paul Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and
>John McLaughlin bemoan the need for more conservative media voices.
>
>3:00 pm - Nature - Join James Watt and Charlton Heston as they use
>machine guns to bag endangered species.
>
>4:00 - NOVA - "Creationism: Discredited, but what the hell?"
>
>5:00 pm - Newt Gingrich News Hour - Clarence Thomas and Bob Packwood
>present in-depth personal reports on sexual harassment.  Pat
>Buchanan says he is being shut out from national exposure.
>
>6:00 pm - Mystery Theater - Hercule Poirot, Jane Marple, and
>Sherlock Holmes team up to investigate Whitewater.
>
>7:00 pm - Great performances - Pat Buchanan is a guest conductor of
>Wagner's "Prelude to a Cultural War."
>
>8:00 pm - Masterpiece Theater - Ibsen's "A Doll's House."  Phyllis
>Schafly adds to this classic with an added scene where Nora gladly
>gives up her independence while her husband chains her to the stove.
>
>9:30 pm - Washington Week in Review - Guests George Will, Rush
>Limbaugh, John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona Charen,
>G. Gordon Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Joseph
>Sobran, Paul Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and John
>McLaughlin discuss liberal media bias.
>
>10:00 pm - Adam Smith's Money World - "How to Profit from Ozone
>Depletion."
>
>10:30 pm - Nightly Business Report - Wall Street celebrates the end
>of all laws regarding anti-trust, consumer protection, workplace
>safety, environmental protection, minimum wage, and child labor.
>
>11:00 pm - Insights of Dan Quayle
>
>11:01 pm - Sign Off
>>
>>Mark Harmon (the guy who wrote this) is an associate professor @ Texas
>>Tech.
>  "Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtaxed."
>
>                                        - Oliver Wendell Holmes
>