Subject: Top 10 reasons the weather satellite map isn't working.
From: [email-masked] (Chuck Corley)
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 95 3:20:02 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

I wrote this, and was told I should send this in.

Background:

        With the flood here in California, and in parts of Sonoma county
in particular, everyone's been paying close attention to the satellite
weather maps that are transmitted on the Internet.  Unfortunately since
the recent heavy rain storms, our US satellite weather picture has had
the clouds shown as smeared white horizontal stripes, and the white
outline markings for the US, Canada, and Mexico is badly shifted about
2000 miles to the east.

>From our local news group:

Howard wrote:
> So, nu, what's happened to the weatherroot? My screen shows white lines
> all throughout and the boundary overlay has shifted tremendously...

        It will help if you've seen a recent satellite 'weatherroot'
picture.  (Having just finished a Togo's sandwich helps also ;-):

Top 10 reasons the satellite picture isn't working:

  #10. During the flood, water got into the satellite.

  #9.  During the flood, water got into the satellite receiver.

  #8.  So much rain fell during the flood, the planet shifted.

  #7.  The picture is fine, it's the planet that's messed up.

  #6.  The high winds are blowing the clouds REALLY REALLY HARD.

  #5.  It's finally happened, but not to California (as had been predicted):
       The East Coast has fallen into the ocean.

  #4.  California politics have shifted to the center (of the country).

  #3.  The Peso has fallen so low that Mexico is at the bottom of the ocean.

  #2.  When it flooded, the satellite ended up being washed.  Now the
       satellite's on "spin cycle".

and ...

  #1. The satellite has to spin all the time in order to make the picture,
      and it's dizzy.

                                        Chuck